CANCER AND ANXIETY ABOUT THE UNKNOWN

ANXIETY ABOUT THE UNKNOWN

Sitting here at 1:30 AM, unable to sleep, I decided to write about something that affects many cancer patients and survivors.

FEAR OF CANCER RECURRENCE OR PROGRESSION

I was initially diagnosed with breast cancer in October 2016. Following chemotherapy, surgery, and radiation, my scans showed positive results. My treatments had worked! 

However, in the autumn of 2020, a lymph node under my arm tested positive for cancer, and I started treatment once again.

I am now in remission, but I know my cancer can become active again.

Just because our cancer treatments have ended, and perhaps we are in remission or show no signs of cancer, that doesn't mean our fears magically disappear.

Even though I don't spend every moment or even every day worrying about a recurrence, the fear can just rear its ugly head at any time.

Whenever I get a new ache or pain, I immediately wonder if it's cancer. Even though logically, I know it's most likely not, I still have that irrational fear. Headache? Maybe it's a brain tumor? Stomach ache? I find myself Googling "Stomach Cancer."

TRIGGERS

Everything could be fine, and then something triggers my fear. It could be a cancer medication commercial on TV or a TV show where someone dies from cancer, especially if it's breast cancer. And routine scans....those cancer-related scans really set off those out-of-control fears and emotions.

SCANXIETY

Right now, I'm waiting for the results of the CT and bone scans I had done on Monday, and of course... I'm stressed and full of scanxiety, which I've discussed before. 

LEARN SOME EFFECTIVE COPING STRATEGIES

Just as cancer treatment isn't one size fits all, neither are the methods that work for dealing with stress and anxiety issues. 

I'm not gonna lie...It's an ongoing struggle to keep my brain from going to dark places.

Since I can't control the results of those scans or whether my cancer returns, I try to focus on other things- things that make me feel good and distract me from the worry. Like getting plenty of rest, laughing with friends on the phone, going for walks, talking to family members, and loving on my sweet pup-Brady! TV is also a great distraction for me.

If you are experiencing cancer-related anxiety yourself, here are some other suggestions for things that might also help:

• Try starting a gratitude journal or a blog.
• Meditation, prayer, or other spiritual support might be helpful.
• Mindfulness activities such as yoga might help with focus and anxiety levels.
• Exercise such as walking or simply playing music and moving to the rhythm can be relaxing and fun. 
• Get help through support groups or counseling.
• Talk to your doctor about using anti-anxiety or anti-depressant meds.
• Volunteering and helping others can give a sense of meaning and help turn attention to others. 

POSITIVE ATTITUDE

I try to keep a positive attitude, but it's not always possible.

So many articles on cancer suggest that a positive attitude can stop cancer from growing or returning. However, cancer isn't caused by a person's negative attitude, nor is it made worse by our thoughts. I refuse to beat myself up or let people make me feel guilty when I feel sad, angry, anxious, or scared.

I guess what it all boils down to is that we shouldn't let anyone else tell us how to feel or deal with our feelings regarding OUR cancer journey.

We all need our friends and loved ones to love and support us through our journey, but we don't need them to think they know best how we should handle our thoughts, feelings, or emotions. 

If you are in the middle of your own cancer journey, I would be happy to answer any questions you might have about my journey. As for you and your personal journey, I would say that I wish you the best, and.....

YOU, DO YOU! 

PS. If I am rambling more than usual in this post, please remember that I'm super stressed while waiting for my scan results AND that it's the middle of the night!