Scary Words

While talking on the phone with a friend yesterday, the topic somehow shifted to words and phrases. She ended up saying, "There are definitely some words or phrases you just never want to hear or say."

CANCER

After my breast cancer diagnosis in October 2016, I found it nearly impossible to say the word "cancer" without feeling a surge of anxiety. I needed to inform my family and friends, but even thinking about that word made me feel so anxious that I nearly felt like throwing up. Over time, I became more comfortable with it, but another word emerged that became even harder for me to say.

METASTATIC

In 2020, a biopsy revealed cancer in a lymph node, and while my doctor avoided using the term "metastatic," I sensed that was the case. When I finally asked, he confirmed, “Yes, it's considered metastatic. It’s not currently curable but is treatable.”

UNDERSTANDING METASTATIC BREAST CANCER

Metastatic breast cancer, or stage IV, is when cancer spreads from the breast to other parts of the body. My doctor said that having metastatic disease doesn’t mean all hope is lost. Many treatment options exist, and new medications are always being tested, allowing many people to lead long, fulfilling lives.

My doctor explained that even though I'm in remission, a small dormant cell remains in my body. To prevent its spread, I take Verzenio daily and receive monthly Faslodex injections. We monitor my blood for white blood cell counts, which can drop due to the medications, but my numbers are currently stable.

Managing Negative Thoughts

I generally feel pretty good and no longer feel nauseous when I hear "metastatic." I know that it’s totally normal for negative thoughts to arise occasionally. Accepting this helps me navigate the tough days I face while dealing with cancer.

Coping Strategies

Managing difficult days effectively requires varied strategies. What works one day might not be effective another. 

When negative thoughts overwhelm me, I try to balance my spiritual, social, and physical health.

Here are some techniques I have found beneficial at times.

- Talking to a friend or family member.

- Getting outside for fresh air and a walk.

- Enjoying a good book or movie.

- Finding humor in challenging situations.

- Joining a support group, online or in person.

- Eating a big chunk of fudge. (No judgment, please!)

- Praying.

While I've had some success with the above techniques, nothing soothes my soul and relieves some of the stress like prayer. 

Reaching out to my faith and support groups helps me handle things better on this journey.

GOODBYES

Last month, I visited the Cancer Center for my regular monthly appointment and saw my oncologist of eight years for the last time. Dr. Saker has been my doctor since my initial cancer diagnosis in October 2016, but he is retiring at the end of this month. Saying goodbye was really tough.

 

When I first met Dr. Saker, I was a complete wreck. I had so many questions swirling in my head, and some I was too scared to ask because I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear the answers. Thoughts about cancer, chemotherapy, surgery, and even death weighed heavily on me.

After having in-depth conversations with both Dr. Saker and Dr. Quill, the now-retired surgeon who performed my mastectomy, I began to feel much more reassured and hopeful about my future. Both doctors were everything I could have hoped for in my cancer treatment.

MORE GOODBYES

Yesterday was my final visit to the Lawrenceville office, where I have received my treatments since the beginning of this journey.

It was an emotional moment for me as I had to say goodbye to two amazing individuals who have played a significant role in my experience: Wan Yang, PA-C, and Lisa. Over the years, Wan has provided me with invaluable medical expertise, genuine concern, and kindness. It will take at least three or four people to fill his shoes at SHO!

When you walk into the Infusion Suite, the first person you see is Lisa. She is always there with a smile and a warm hug! I’m not even sure what her official job title is, but I genuinely believe that her smile and kind heart have the power to cure many ailments. Lisa is also a breast cancer survivor herself. Since I'll be getting treatments at a new location, I won't see Lisa regularly, which makes me sad.

However, I will definitely visit her whenever I’m in the area!

Lisa and Pam

I’ll miss many people at Suburban Hematology Oncology in Lawrenceville, GA, but saying goodbye to Dr. Saker, Wan, and Lisa really hits differently.

After a very emotional morning filled with tears, I decided that a bit of whipped cream on my coffee in the Survivor mug was just what the doctor ordered!