SCAN RESULTS

Since I mentioned in my last post that I was waiting on the results of some cancer-related scans, I thought I should let Y'all know the results!

As soon as I woke up on the day the results were due, I checked the patient portal for the Nuclear Bone Scan results. I was relieved that they were good since cancer often spreads to the bone.

I received the report for my abdomen and pelvis CT scan shortly after. Although there were a few things I didn't fully understand, I was relieved to see the phrase "No evidence of metastasis."

My chest CT scan results were the only ones not posted. I checked the portal every 15 minutes, wondering why they weren't there. Was something terrible showing up?

Earlier, breathing exercises and prayers helped, but I was still super-stressed. I tried stress-relieving methods from my previous post, did chores, lifted weights, and read, but none of those things kept me from wanting to know why the other scan results weren't on the patient portal.

I finally figured it was time to go ahead and utilize the all-time most effective stress relief supplement..................

SCIENTIFICALLY PROVEN TO REDUCE ANXIETY AND MAKE YOU HAPPY!

ICE CREAM REALLY CAN HELP WITH ANXIETY!

I think most of us can agree that ice cream is a great comfort food. But did you know there is a reason (besides the fact that ice cream just tastes amazing) that we tend to go to ice cream when we are sad or stressed?

Ice cream contains milk and L-tryptophan, an amino acid that helps reduce the nervous system's activity, making it a natural tranquilizer that can help reduce anxiety! It also stimulates the production of thrombospondin, which reduces stress and increases the hormones in your brain that translate to happiness! I'm not an expert nutritionist, but I have researched the subject extensively!

FINALLY

After feeling anxious for hours and eating a bowl of ice cream, I called my doctor's office to ask why I couldn't access my CT scan results. A nurse was able to access them and assured me that everything was fine. The line that said, "No evidence of metastasis within the chest, abdomen, or pelvis," was what I had been waiting and praying for.

Although I am relieved and thankful for the good news, the wait was incredibly stressful! Thank God for ice cream!!

CANCER AND ANXIETY ABOUT THE UNKNOWN

ANXIETY ABOUT THE UNKNOWN

Sitting here at 1:30 AM, unable to sleep, I decided to write about something that affects many cancer patients and survivors.

FEAR OF CANCER RECURRENCE OR PROGRESSION

I was initially diagnosed with breast cancer in October 2016. Following chemotherapy, surgery, and radiation, my scans showed positive results. My treatments had worked! 

However, in the autumn of 2020, a lymph node under my arm tested positive for cancer, and I started treatment once again.

I am now in remission, but I know my cancer can become active again.

Just because our cancer treatments have ended, and perhaps we are in remission or show no signs of cancer, that doesn't mean our fears magically disappear.

Even though I don't spend every moment or even every day worrying about a recurrence, the fear can just rear its ugly head at any time.

Whenever I get a new ache or pain, I immediately wonder if it's cancer. Even though logically, I know it's most likely not, I still have that irrational fear. Headache? Maybe it's a brain tumor? Stomach ache? I find myself Googling "Stomach Cancer."

TRIGGERS

Everything could be fine, and then something triggers my fear. It could be a cancer medication commercial on TV or a TV show where someone dies from cancer, especially if it's breast cancer. And routine scans....those cancer-related scans really set off those out-of-control fears and emotions.

SCANXIETY

Right now, I'm waiting for the results of the CT and bone scans I had done on Monday, and of course... I'm stressed and full of scanxiety, which I've discussed before. 

LEARN SOME EFFECTIVE COPING STRATEGIES

Just as cancer treatment isn't one size fits all, neither are the methods that work for dealing with stress and anxiety issues. 

I'm not gonna lie...It's an ongoing struggle to keep my brain from going to dark places.

Since I can't control the results of those scans or whether my cancer returns, I try to focus on other things- things that make me feel good and distract me from the worry. Like getting plenty of rest, laughing with friends on the phone, going for walks, talking to family members, and loving on my sweet pup-Brady! TV is also a great distraction for me.

If you are experiencing cancer-related anxiety yourself, here are some other suggestions for things that might also help:

• Try starting a gratitude journal or a blog.
• Meditation, prayer, or other spiritual support might be helpful.
• Mindfulness activities such as yoga might help with focus and anxiety levels.
• Exercise such as walking or simply playing music and moving to the rhythm can be relaxing and fun. 
• Get help through support groups or counseling.
• Talk to your doctor about using anti-anxiety or anti-depressant meds.
• Volunteering and helping others can give a sense of meaning and help turn attention to others. 

POSITIVE ATTITUDE

I try to keep a positive attitude, but it's not always possible.

So many articles on cancer suggest that a positive attitude can stop cancer from growing or returning. However, cancer isn't caused by a person's negative attitude, nor is it made worse by our thoughts. I refuse to beat myself up or let people make me feel guilty when I feel sad, angry, anxious, or scared.

I guess what it all boils down to is that we shouldn't let anyone else tell us how to feel or deal with our feelings regarding OUR cancer journey.

We all need our friends and loved ones to love and support us through our journey, but we don't need them to think they know best how we should handle our thoughts, feelings, or emotions. 

If you are in the middle of your own cancer journey, I would be happy to answer any questions you might have about my journey. As for you and your personal journey, I would say that I wish you the best, and.....

YOU, DO YOU! 

PS. If I am rambling more than usual in this post, please remember that I'm super stressed while waiting for my scan results AND that it's the middle of the night! 

New England Visit

TRIP TO NEW ENGLAND

Here it is, the end of June, and I am just getting around to posting about our exciting adventure from the middle of May!

The Robbins family had been unable to travel for a while due to my cancer treatments and weakened immune system. The pandemic further complicated things. But I'm thrilled to say that we finally managed to make our way to Boston to visit our son Nick and to meet his wonderful girlfriend, Alison!

Alison, Pam, Nick, Conor, Ray

Alison's charm had won us over even before we had the opportunity to meet her in person. We adored her even before our face-to-face encounter! And now we love her even more! 

FRIENDS WHO ARE FAMILY

On the first night of our visit, we got to meet Nick's dear friends, Jen and Yannick. It was instantly evident that they were not just Nick's friends but his extended family in New England. We had so much fun, and we loved them both!

We had a wonderful time at The Irish Cottage Restaurant and Pub, enjoying a variety of scrumptious dishes, strong drinks, and delightful conversation!

Ray, Jen, Yannick

And then there was ice cream.......

NEWBURYPORT, MA

Agave Mexican Bistro

We had heard about the delicious food at Agave Mexican Bistro, and the food and drinks did not disappoint! And I might have overindulged in both!

SEA LEVEL OYSTER BAR

Sea Level Oyster Bar was another great restaurant we visited in Newburyport.

I was so excited to finally enjoy some fresh seafood again! Sea Level did not disappoint....my fried scallops were delicious! 

                             

And then there was the time we met that weird British guy.......

MEET THE PARENTS

On Saturday, we had the pleasure of visiting Alison's parents' lovely home for a delightful meal and fantastic company!

Kathy, Katie, Tom, Conor, Ray, Pam

They welcomed us warmly and made us feel at home from the moment we arrived. 

Nick's friends, Alex and Tom, were in town for the day, and we were happy to have them join us!

Alex, Tom, Alison, Nick, and Alison's adorable nephew-Vincent.

BEACH DAY WITH KATHY

On a day when Nick and Alison were busy with work, Kathy kindly offered to drive us up the coast to view some of the beautiful beaches. I can't tell you how much I enjoyed seeing the ocean again after such a long time.

Kathy was a great companion and an excellent tour guide!

                                             

                        

We spotted a beautiful solitary flower flourishing amidst the rocky terrain. Conor kindly ventured down to snap a photo for me.

           

We stopped at a lovely roadside place for ice cream on our way back to Merrimac! I didn't get photos of the ice cream, but I did get some cute shots of Kathy and Conor.        

  

                                                   

BOSTON IN THE SPRINGTIME

There is nothing quite like Boston on a nice spring day!

                                                      

Food and drinks at The Black Rose. 

Since we would be leaving early the next morning, Alison's sister Katie and Katie's handsome son Marty stopped by Nick and Alison's to say goodbye after Marty's baseball game. I wanted to make sure to share a photo of them all - Katie's son Marty is absolutely adorable! 

        

Our trip was beyond amazing! Seeing Nick again and meeting Alison and her family filled my heart with joy!

The welcome we received was heartwarming. There are so many more memories to share, but this post is already pretty long, so I will save those for another time!

I can't wait for our next visit!

6-YEAR MASTECTOMY ANNIVERSARY

Six years ago today, I had a mastectomy. 

I remember being so nervous but, at the same time, happy that we were finally going to get this thing done. I felt like it had been so long since my diagnosis and learning that I would need surgery. 

I was diagnosed on October 3, 2016, and here it was April 7, 2017. It had been determined that I would receive chemotherapy to shrink the tumors before surgery. And it worked. The tumors shrank quite a lot. But now I had finished chemo and just wanted the cancerous boob GONE!

My right breast was removed, along with 11 lymph nodes. I was so afraid to think about what was underneath those bandages.

I left the hospital a few hours after my surgery. I was shocked and a little worried about going home so soon after surgery, but I didn't argue with them.

Some things are a bit blurry when I reflect on that day, but I remember the ride home from the hospital. I remember sitting in the front seat and zoning out while Ray was driving, and all of a sudden, I saw an ice cream sign. I literally yelled, "Ray, STOP! I NEED ice cream! We had already passed the entrance into the parking lot of the ice cream place, but Ray somehow managed a quick U-turn, and the next thing I knew, we were sitting there, parked in front of an ice cream shop I had never even noticed before today, and Ray was asking me what kind of ice cream I wanted!

It's funny the things you remember sometimes. First, of course, I remember the ice cream! But much more importantly, I remember my husband caring for me, nursing me, and, most of all, loving me through those rough days. 

I can't say that every day of these past six years since my surgery has been easy, but I can say without a doubt that I am thankful for each and every one of them. 

So yes, life is a blessing. 

And being surrounded by loved ones while going through a cancer diagnosis and treatment, or any other crisis, is an immeasurable blessing. 

I feel so sad when I think about anyone going through such a time of distress and fear without the love and support of friends and family. 

Many of my family members and friends live out of state, but I know they are always a phone call away when I need them, and I could not have made it through these past few years without them!

I am blessed.

LYMPHEDEMA

Recently I shared my annoyance and frustration about my lymphedema. I am happy to report that the swelling has significantly decreased, and my condition is not as severe at the moment.

In my previous post, I promised to discuss the treatments and management techniques that have worked well for me. However, before delving into that, I would like to address two questions that were raised in response to my last post.

IS THERE A WAY TO PREDICT IF I WILL GET LYMPHEDEMA? CAN I PREVENT IT?

There is no surefire way to predict who will get lymphedema after breast cancer treatments. And there is no surefire way to prevent it. Women who exercise as soon as their doctor permits after surgery or other treatments and follow proper skin care suggestions seem less likely to develop it. I was told that removing several lymph nodes, combined with radiation, put me at a higher risk of getting it at some point.

Although there is no cure for lymphedema, there are treatments that focus on reducing swelling, managing flare-ups, and preventing complications. 

TREATMENTS MAY INCLUDE

• Bandages. Compression can help to reduce and control lymphedema by limiting lymph fluid buildup and providing support to help muscles pump fluid away. 
• Diet and weight management. Eating a healthy diet and controlling body weight is essential for lymphedema treatment.
• Exercise. Exercise helps to improve lymph drainage. For example, walking, light weight lifting, yoga, swimming, and Tai Chi may encourage lymph flow. Your doctor, OT or PT can advise on specific exercises.
• Massage therapy. Massage by someone trained and certified in lymphedema treatment can help move fluid away from the swollen area.
• Infection prevention. It is so essential to protect the skin in the affected area from drying, cracking, and infection. Your healthcare provider can advise you on how to care for your skin and nails to help prevent serious problems.

If you have recently undergone breast cancer treatment, I first suggest you make an appointment with an expert trained in lymphedema therapy. You may need a referral from your doctor. 

A therapist will most likely recommend complete decongestive therapy (CDT), a non-invasive treatment for lymphedema. This therapy includes various techniques, including manual lymphatic drainage (MLD), compression, exercise, and skincare. CDT reduces lymphedema, increases mobility and range of motion, and decreases the risk of cellulitis. 

MANUAL LYMPHATIC DRAINAGE (MLD) AND HOW IT WORKS.

MLD is a gentle massage technique that involves skin-stretching movements using a very light touch. The goal is to move the lymphatic fluid from swollen areas toward the lymph flow and into areas that are draining well. 

This MLD on the skin also helps to soften any hardened tissue.

Deep breathing methods are also used to enhance the positive effects of MLD. Therefore, your MLD session will most likely begin and end with some deep breathing exercises.

Your therapist can also teach you how you can do lymphatic drainage by yourself at home. This is called simple lymphatic drainage or SLD.

LYMPHATIC DRAINAGE PUMP

Your therapist might recommend a pneumatic compression device if these techniques don't work. Then, when appropriate, your healthcare provider can prescribe this device for home use. In many cases, your insurance will cover these devices. 

Yes, it looks daunting, but it's okay once you get used to it. And that's coming from someone who can't stand confinement of any kind! 

I saw an OT who is trained in lymphedema therapy. Initially, I saw her twice a week for MLD and arm wrapping. My visits with her were great, and she would get the swelling down quite a bit, but it was decided that I needed the extra help of the lymphatic drainage pump to use at home. She also taught me to do SLD and to wrap my arm myself (with help from the hubby) and gave me some exercises I could do at home.

In addition to using the lymphatic drainage pump, I do stretching exercises and lift light weights 4 or 5 times weekly. I try to get in a walk regularly, but if the weather doesn't permit a walk, I put on some music and do some gentle dance-type movements. Anything that keeps you moving is helpful.

I will be happy to answer any specific questions you may have about my struggles with lymphedema. I will also put together some of the exercises I do regularly. I will post them here in the next few days.

                                        

SCANXIETY PART 2-SCAN RESULTS

So, yesterday I had an early morning appointment at my Cancer Center. And when I say early, it really felt early! Between losing an hour due to the time change over the weekend, the thunderstorm that woke us up early Sunday morning after only a few hours of sleep, and then staying up late to watch the Academy Awards show on Sunday night, getting up at 6 am Monday morning was tough!

DOCTOR'S VISIT

First, I saw one of my favorite people...Doctor Saker's nurse, Patience, AKA The Vein Whisperer! Patience is not only one of the sweetest young women you will ever meet, but she could get that needle in a vein with her eyes closed! Man, she's good at her job! So, we chatted while she weighed me (WHAT??? ARE THOSE SCALES RIGHT??), took the vitals and some blood, and then took me to one of the exam rooms to wait for Dr. Saker. 

I waited much longer than usual for the doctor to come in. I wasn't upset with the wait because it is a Cancer Center, and I'm actually always surprised by how quickly the doctor comes in. However, I was getting very nervous sitting there for so long waiting to hear those test results!

Finally, Dr. Saker came in, apologized for the wait, saying that Monday had started out with a bang, and then........

DRUMROLL PLEASE......

He said, with a smile on his face...GREAT NEWS! The scans looked great! After talking about what a great job the meds were doing and going over a couple of other things, he said there is a chance that the sleeping devil (cancer) will wake up at some point and make another appearance, but it could be years before that happens. The Faslodex injections and Verzenio are doing their job and have fewer side effects than Ibrance. 

After all of the 'scanxiety' I've experienced over the past few weeks, I could finally breathe a sigh of relief! I had been more worried about the bone scan because although I had a CT scan in September, it had been a year since my last bone scan.

We also briefly discussed my ongoing battle with weight loss and lowering my cholesterol, but he said he thinks I still have time to do both before I see my PCP in about 5 weeks! But I'll talk more about those issues in another post.

The first person I saw when I entered the infusion suite was another of my favorite people who works there...Lisa! 

Lisa and I chatted for a few minutes while I waited to receive my Faslodex injections and B12 shot. When I told Lisa about my test results, I got a hug and a  heartfelt "PRAISE GOD!"

And I am......PRAISING GOD! 

SCANXIETY PART 1

Let's talk a bit about Scanxiety. 

                                  

WHAT IS SCANXIETY?

Scanxiety is short for scan anxiety, a typical response to having any type of cancer-detecting scan. Whether the scan is being done for diagnosis, to monitor ongoing treatments, or to check for a recurrence, it really doesn't matter; the stress and worry associated with these scans can wreak havoc on our emotional well-being. 

Not everyone experiences a full-blown episode of scanxiety. Some people may only experience minor anxiety, while others, like myself, feel intense panic or distress.

In talking to the people in my cancer support group, I realized that for some, scanxiety only occurs after their scans while waiting on results.

BEFORE SCANS

For some people (me...me...me!), the stress and anxiety begin as soon as a scan has been scheduled. I immediately start to worry that the scans might show something to indicate I am no longer in remission. What if my treatments are no longer working?
 
DURING SCANS

I suffer from claustrophobia, so I have a tough time inside a small, cramped scanner. Even those who aren't claustrophobic might feel uncomfortable and even a little panicked. Also, some of the tables you have to lie on are hard, and you might find it difficult to lie still in one position for a long time. 

Although I'm no longer as stressed over the actual scans as I once was now that I've experienced (and survived!) multiple CT, Bone, PET, and MRI scans, I still have to fight the feelings of claustrophobia each time. My doctor is aware of my claustrophobia and prescribes Xanax to take before scans, which helps immensely.

AFTER SCANS

After getting a medical scan, it's totally normal to feel anxious while waiting for the results. My doctor usually sets up an appointment about a week after the scan to chat about the results with me. Even though I can check out the results on the patient portal a few days before my appointment, trying to figure out all the medical jargon on my own can be risky. I once freaked out for days over nothing because I misunderstood something as bad news. I know it's best to wait for the doctor to explain everything, but man, waiting is tough!

SO, WHAT ARE THE SIGNS OF SCANXIETY?

The following can be signs of scanxiety:

• Trouble sleeping.

• Not feeling hungry.

• Trouble focusing.

• Faster heart rate and possibly higher blood pressure than usual.

• Moodiness

• Having sad or worrying thoughts.

• Fear of a recurrence or spreading of cancer.

TIPS TO HELP MANAGE SCANXIETY

Acknowledge your feelings. Allow yourself to feel angry, scared, or just plain ticked off. You might tend to tear up or become emotional more easily than normal (which ticks me off), so just acknowledge what's going on and be gentle with yourself.

Distract yourself. Do something you enjoy: Binge-watch a TV show, read a book, listen to music, eat your favorite food, or call a friend to take your mind off your worries and anxiety.

Meditate. Whether your method of meditation is yoga, praying, listening to calming music, or just sitting quietly and releasing those negative thoughts in your head, find what helps you relax and do it. For me, prayer is essential.

Find your mantra. Adopting a positive mindset can help alleviate some of your scanxiety worries. For example, you can compose a list of inspirational quotes or motivational affirmations to comfort you during this difficult time.

Share your story. I started my blog to share my story with those who might be facing a new diagnosis, hoping I might help them through their cancer journey. But I also found that blogging helps me take my mind off my anxiety by talking to people going through a similar situation.

And why am I writing about scanxiety today? This past Wednesday, I had bone and CT scan. I have an appointment with my oncologist tomorrow, and right now, I'm trying to avoid that patient portal! 

I'm going for a short walk right now before this scanxiety gets out of control! 

I'll be back after my doctor's visit with SCANXIETY PART 2-SCAN RESULTS. Good thoughts and prayers are appreciated!