October-Breast Cancer Awareness and Diagnosis

On October 3, 2016, the weather was beautiful and sunny. It was also the day I had an appointment with Dr. Quill, a breast surgeon, to receive the results of the biopsy that had been done a week earlier.

I was absolutely terrified. When Dr. Quill walked into the room, he didn't hesitate. He looked at me and said, "Well, you have tested positive for breast cancer." In my heart, I already knew what the biopsy results would reveal.

Before the biopsy, I had a diagnostic mammogram followed by an ultrasound. After the mammogram, the kind technician walked me to a waiting area for a doctor to examine the pictures. She started to walk away but then turned back, gave me a hug, and said, "It's gonna be okay." At that moment, I knew. But I was so thankful for that hug.

So, when Dr. Quill said those words to me, they were just confirmation. He sat down on a stool beside me and asked, "Are you ready to fight?" Oh, hell yeah, I was! He said that he and the rest of my team of doctors would use every weapon available to fight this thing. 

I can't really remember much from the few hours after that visit with Dr. Quill, but I do remember walking around my backyard later in the evening and having a chat with God. Begging might be a better way to describe what was happening. 

I remember feeling heartbroken about having to tell my kids. Conor was a high school junior, and his homecoming dance was that weekend. I distinctly remember insisting on waiting until after homecoming to tell him.

The rest of my kids were scattered about the country, so it wasn't like I could sit them all down and tell them this news. 

I somehow managed to break the news to my kids, other family members, and, finally, my friends. It was incredibly tough.

Today is October 21, 2023. Exactly seven years ago today, I had my first chemo treatment. It was the initial punch in that battle. This isn't necessarily something I want to celebrate, but I am celebrating the fact that seven years later, I am still here. I am still fighting, but I am still here and feeling pretty darn good most of the time!

BREAST CANCER AWARENESS MONTH

As you probably know, October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. 

I received my breast cancer diagnosis on October 3, 2016. It's been seven years already?! 

I had planned to write about that day, but I can't seem to find the right words to express how I felt then or in the days following the diagnosis.

It was a very significant and emotional time for me, and I don't want to post something just for the sake of posting. I've been really busy lately, and my mind is all over the place right now, so I'll wait until sometime next week to share more about it. 

In the meantime, if you still need to get a mammogram this year, please go online or call your doctor's office to schedule one.

SCAN RESULTS

Since I mentioned in my last post that I was waiting on the results of some cancer-related scans, I thought I should let Y'all know the results!

As soon as I woke up on the day the results were due, I checked the patient portal for the Nuclear Bone Scan results. I was relieved that they were good since cancer often spreads to the bone.

I received the report for my abdomen and pelvis CT scan shortly after. Although there were a few things I didn't fully understand, I was relieved to see the phrase "No evidence of metastasis."

My chest CT scan results were the only ones not posted. I checked the portal every 15 minutes, wondering why they weren't there. Was something terrible showing up?

Earlier, breathing exercises and prayers helped, but I was still super-stressed. I tried stress-relieving methods from my previous post, did chores, lifted weights, and read, but none of those things kept me from wanting to know why the other scan results weren't on the patient portal.

I finally figured it was time to go ahead and utilize the all-time most effective stress relief supplement..................

SCIENTIFICALLY PROVEN TO REDUCE ANXIETY AND MAKE YOU HAPPY!

ICE CREAM REALLY CAN HELP WITH ANXIETY!

I think most of us can agree that ice cream is a great comfort food. But did you know there is a reason (besides the fact that ice cream just tastes amazing) that we tend to go to ice cream when we are sad or stressed?

Ice cream contains milk and L-tryptophan, an amino acid that helps reduce the nervous system's activity, making it a natural tranquilizer that can help reduce anxiety! It also stimulates the production of thrombospondin, which reduces stress and increases the hormones in your brain that translate to happiness! I'm not an expert nutritionist, but I have researched the subject extensively!

FINALLY

After feeling anxious for hours and eating a bowl of ice cream, I called my doctor's office to ask why I couldn't access my CT scan results. A nurse was able to access them and assured me that everything was fine. The line that said, "No evidence of metastasis within the chest, abdomen, or pelvis," was what I had been waiting and praying for.

Although I am relieved and thankful for the good news, the wait was incredibly stressful! Thank God for ice cream!!

CANCER AND ANXIETY ABOUT THE UNKNOWN

ANXIETY ABOUT THE UNKNOWN

Sitting here at 1:30 AM, unable to sleep, I decided to write about something that affects many cancer patients and survivors.

FEAR OF CANCER RECURRENCE OR PROGRESSION

I was initially diagnosed with breast cancer in October 2016. Following chemotherapy, surgery, and radiation, my scans showed positive results. My treatments had worked! 

However, in the autumn of 2020, a lymph node under my arm tested positive for cancer, and I started treatment once again.

I am now in remission, but I know my cancer can become active again.

Just because our cancer treatments have ended, and perhaps we are in remission or show no signs of cancer, that doesn't mean our fears magically disappear.

Even though I don't spend every moment or even every day worrying about a recurrence, the fear can just rear its ugly head at any time.

Whenever I get a new ache or pain, I immediately wonder if it's cancer. Even though logically, I know it's most likely not, I still have that irrational fear. Headache? Maybe it's a brain tumor? Stomach ache? I find myself Googling "Stomach Cancer."

TRIGGERS

Everything could be fine, and then something triggers my fear. It could be a cancer medication commercial on TV or a TV show where someone dies from cancer, especially if it's breast cancer. And routine scans....those cancer-related scans really set off those out-of-control fears and emotions.

SCANXIETY

Right now, I'm waiting for the results of the CT and bone scans I had done on Monday, and of course... I'm stressed and full of scanxiety, which I've discussed before. 

LEARN SOME EFFECTIVE COPING STRATEGIES

Just as cancer treatment isn't one size fits all, neither are the methods that work for dealing with stress and anxiety issues. 

I'm not gonna lie...It's an ongoing struggle to keep my brain from going to dark places.

Since I can't control the results of those scans or whether my cancer returns, I try to focus on other things- things that make me feel good and distract me from the worry. Like getting plenty of rest, laughing with friends on the phone, going for walks, talking to family members, and loving on my sweet pup-Brady! TV is also a great distraction for me.

If you are experiencing cancer-related anxiety yourself, here are some other suggestions for things that might also help:

• Try starting a gratitude journal or a blog.
• Meditation, prayer, or other spiritual support might be helpful.
• Mindfulness activities such as yoga might help with focus and anxiety levels.
• Exercise such as walking or simply playing music and moving to the rhythm can be relaxing and fun. 
• Get help through support groups or counseling.
• Talk to your doctor about using anti-anxiety or anti-depressant meds.
• Volunteering and helping others can give a sense of meaning and help turn attention to others. 

POSITIVE ATTITUDE

I try to keep a positive attitude, but it's not always possible.

So many articles on cancer suggest that a positive attitude can stop cancer from growing or returning. However, cancer isn't caused by a person's negative attitude, nor is it made worse by our thoughts. I refuse to beat myself up or let people make me feel guilty when I feel sad, angry, anxious, or scared.

I guess what it all boils down to is that we shouldn't let anyone else tell us how to feel or deal with our feelings regarding OUR cancer journey.

We all need our friends and loved ones to love and support us through our journey, but we don't need them to think they know best how we should handle our thoughts, feelings, or emotions. 

If you are in the middle of your own cancer journey, I would be happy to answer any questions you might have about my journey. As for you and your personal journey, I would say that I wish you the best, and.....

YOU, DO YOU! 

PS. If I am rambling more than usual in this post, please remember that I'm super stressed while waiting for my scan results AND that it's the middle of the night! 

New England Visit

TRIP TO NEW ENGLAND

Here it is, the end of June, and I am just getting around to posting about our exciting adventure from the middle of May!

The Robbins family had been unable to travel for a while due to my cancer treatments and weakened immune system. The pandemic further complicated things. But I'm thrilled to say that we finally managed to make our way to Boston to visit our son Nick and to meet his wonderful girlfriend, Alison!

Alison, Pam, Nick, Conor, Ray

Alison's charm had won us over even before we had the opportunity to meet her in person. We adored her even before our face-to-face encounter! And now we love her even more! 

FRIENDS WHO ARE FAMILY

On the first night of our visit, we got to meet Nick's dear friends, Jen and Yannick. It was instantly evident that they were not just Nick's friends but his extended family in New England. We had so much fun, and we loved them both!

We had a wonderful time at The Irish Cottage Restaurant and Pub, enjoying a variety of scrumptious dishes, strong drinks, and delightful conversation!

Ray, Jen, Yannick

And then there was ice cream.......

NEWBURYPORT, MA

Agave Mexican Bistro

We had heard about the delicious food at Agave Mexican Bistro, and the food and drinks did not disappoint! And I might have overindulged in both!

SEA LEVEL OYSTER BAR

Sea Level Oyster Bar was another great restaurant we visited in Newburyport.

I was so excited to finally enjoy some fresh seafood again! Sea Level did not disappoint....my fried scallops were delicious! 

                             

And then there was the time we met that weird British guy.......

MEET THE PARENTS

On Saturday, we had the pleasure of visiting Alison's parents' lovely home for a delightful meal and fantastic company!

Kathy, Katie, Tom, Conor, Ray, Pam

They welcomed us warmly and made us feel at home from the moment we arrived. 

Nick's friends, Alex and Tom, were in town for the day, and we were happy to have them join us!

Alex, Tom, Alison, Nick, and Alison's adorable nephew-Vincent.

BEACH DAY WITH KATHY

On a day when Nick and Alison were busy with work, Kathy kindly offered to drive us up the coast to view some of the beautiful beaches. I can't tell you how much I enjoyed seeing the ocean again after such a long time.

Kathy was a great companion and an excellent tour guide!

                                             

                        

We spotted a beautiful solitary flower flourishing amidst the rocky terrain. Conor kindly ventured down to snap a photo for me.

           

We stopped at a lovely roadside place for ice cream on our way back to Merrimac! I didn't get photos of the ice cream, but I did get some cute shots of Kathy and Conor.        

  

                                                   

BOSTON IN THE SPRINGTIME

There is nothing quite like Boston on a nice spring day!

                                                      

Food and drinks at The Black Rose. 

Since we would be leaving early the next morning, Alison's sister Katie and Katie's handsome son Marty stopped by Nick and Alison's to say goodbye after Marty's baseball game. I wanted to make sure to share a photo of them all - Katie's son Marty is absolutely adorable! 

        

Our trip was beyond amazing! Seeing Nick again and meeting Alison and her family filled my heart with joy!

The welcome we received was heartwarming. There are so many more memories to share, but this post is already pretty long, so I will save those for another time!

I can't wait for our next visit!

6-YEAR MASTECTOMY ANNIVERSARY

Six years ago today, I had a mastectomy. 

I remember being so nervous but, at the same time, happy that we were finally going to get this thing done. I felt like it had been so long since my diagnosis and learning that I would need surgery. 

I was diagnosed on October 3, 2016, and here it was April 7, 2017. It had been determined that I would receive chemotherapy to shrink the tumors before surgery. And it worked. The tumors shrank quite a lot. But now I had finished chemo and just wanted the cancerous boob GONE!

My right breast was removed, along with 11 lymph nodes. I was so afraid to think about what was underneath those bandages.

I left the hospital a few hours after my surgery. I was shocked and a little worried about going home so soon after surgery, but I didn't argue with them.

Some things are a bit blurry when I reflect on that day, but I remember the ride home from the hospital. I remember sitting in the front seat and zoning out while Ray was driving, and all of a sudden, I saw an ice cream sign. I literally yelled, "Ray, STOP! I NEED ice cream! We had already passed the entrance into the parking lot of the ice cream place, but Ray somehow managed a quick U-turn, and the next thing I knew, we were sitting there, parked in front of an ice cream shop I had never even noticed before today, and Ray was asking me what kind of ice cream I wanted!

It's funny the things you remember sometimes. First, of course, I remember the ice cream! But much more importantly, I remember my husband caring for me, nursing me, and, most of all, loving me through those rough days. 

I can't say that every day of these past six years since my surgery has been easy, but I can say without a doubt that I am thankful for each and every one of them. 

So yes, life is a blessing. 

And being surrounded by loved ones while going through a cancer diagnosis and treatment, or any other crisis, is an immeasurable blessing. 

I feel so sad when I think about anyone going through such a time of distress and fear without the love and support of friends and family. 

Many of my family members and friends live out of state, but I know they are always a phone call away when I need them, and I could not have made it through these past few years without them!

I am blessed.

LYMPHEDEMA

Recently I shared my annoyance and frustration about my lymphedema. I am happy to report that the swelling has significantly decreased, and my condition is not as severe at the moment.

In my previous post, I promised to discuss the treatments and management techniques that have worked well for me. However, before delving into that, I would like to address two questions that were raised in response to my last post.

IS THERE A WAY TO PREDICT IF I WILL GET LYMPHEDEMA? CAN I PREVENT IT?

There is no surefire way to predict who will get lymphedema after breast cancer treatments. And there is no surefire way to prevent it. Women who exercise as soon as their doctor permits after surgery or other treatments and follow proper skin care suggestions seem less likely to develop it. I was told that removing several lymph nodes, combined with radiation, put me at a higher risk of getting it at some point.

Although there is no cure for lymphedema, there are treatments that focus on reducing swelling, managing flare-ups, and preventing complications. 

TREATMENTS MAY INCLUDE

• Bandages. Compression can help to reduce and control lymphedema by limiting lymph fluid buildup and providing support to help muscles pump fluid away. 
• Diet and weight management. Eating a healthy diet and controlling body weight is essential for lymphedema treatment.
• Exercise. Exercise helps to improve lymph drainage. For example, walking, light weight lifting, yoga, swimming, and Tai Chi may encourage lymph flow. Your doctor, OT or PT can advise on specific exercises.
• Massage therapy. Massage by someone trained and certified in lymphedema treatment can help move fluid away from the swollen area.
• Infection prevention. It is so essential to protect the skin in the affected area from drying, cracking, and infection. Your healthcare provider can advise you on how to care for your skin and nails to help prevent serious problems.

If you have recently undergone breast cancer treatment, I first suggest you make an appointment with an expert trained in lymphedema therapy. You may need a referral from your doctor. 

A therapist will most likely recommend complete decongestive therapy (CDT), a non-invasive treatment for lymphedema. This therapy includes various techniques, including manual lymphatic drainage (MLD), compression, exercise, and skincare. CDT reduces lymphedema, increases mobility and range of motion, and decreases the risk of cellulitis. 

MANUAL LYMPHATIC DRAINAGE (MLD) AND HOW IT WORKS.

MLD is a gentle massage technique that involves skin-stretching movements using a very light touch. The goal is to move the lymphatic fluid from swollen areas toward the lymph flow and into areas that are draining well. 

This MLD on the skin also helps to soften any hardened tissue.

Deep breathing methods are also used to enhance the positive effects of MLD. Therefore, your MLD session will most likely begin and end with some deep breathing exercises.

Your therapist can also teach you how you can do lymphatic drainage by yourself at home. This is called simple lymphatic drainage or SLD.

LYMPHATIC DRAINAGE PUMP

Your therapist might recommend a pneumatic compression device if these techniques don't work. Then, when appropriate, your healthcare provider can prescribe this device for home use. In many cases, your insurance will cover these devices. 

Yes, it looks daunting, but it's okay once you get used to it. And that's coming from someone who can't stand confinement of any kind! 

I saw an OT who is trained in lymphedema therapy. Initially, I saw her twice a week for MLD and arm wrapping. My visits with her were great, and she would get the swelling down quite a bit, but it was decided that I needed the extra help of the lymphatic drainage pump to use at home. She also taught me to do SLD and to wrap my arm myself (with help from the hubby) and gave me some exercises I could do at home.

In addition to using the lymphatic drainage pump, I do stretching exercises and lift light weights 4 or 5 times weekly. I try to get in a walk regularly, but if the weather doesn't permit a walk, I put on some music and do some gentle dance-type movements. Anything that keeps you moving is helpful.

I will be happy to answer any specific questions you may have about my struggles with lymphedema. I will also put together some of the exercises I do regularly. I will post them here in the next few days.