GOALS

 Hey, Y'all!

I hope the new year is treating you well so far! 

In my previous post, I shared my New Year's resolutions. There are only 2, but they are pretty powerful and require some solid goals to accomplish them.

My Resolutions-

To- Focus on strengthening my physical and mental health. 

To- Move forward with hope, faith, humor, and optimism. 

I decided to keep things simple and not set unrealistic goals for myself. 

Goals-

MOVE EVERY DAY

Physical activity is strongly linked to better mental health. Even a moderate amount of exercise can ward off anxiety and depression, help improve sleep, and lead to improved quality of life. 

By exercise, I don't mean a hardcore, grueling workout. While I want to focus more on walking on the treadmill and some upper body exercises to help with my lymphedema, many other forms of movement could be physically and mentally beneficial.

Committing to 15 minutes of some type of exercise every day should be an achievable goal.

EMBRACE MINDFULNESS AND MENTAL WELLBEING

Most of us know that cancer can have a significant impact on our physical health, but we tend to overlook the mental and emotional strain that comes with it. 

Mindfulness practices, such as deep breathing exercises, meditation, or yoga, can help manage some of the stress we are dealing with and contribute to a healthier mental outlook.

I've always had trouble focusing when meditating or doing breathing exercises. I've also never been good at yoga, but I've found an easy beginner's video geared toward those with upper body lymphedema that I will try. 

I'm aiming for 3 days a week of yoga, which will help with meditation and breathing.

NOURISH MY FAITH AND SPIRITUAL GROWTH

Just as a tree needs sunlight, good soil, and water to grow, our faith also needs daily nourishment. 

Spiritual growth involves nourishing the soul through meditation and self-reflection. However, prayer and studying God's word are essential for growing my faith as a Christian. 

I plan to start my morning with at least 15 minutes of prayer and bible study. I'm also hoping to find an online bible study group to join. 

FOLLOW A NUTRITIOUS DIET PLAN

While trying to follow the Intermittent Eating plan, I also want to focus more on quality, nutritious meals.

I aim to put together a menu each Sunday of nutritious meals for the week. 

CULTIVATE AN ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE

A grateful attitude can make such a difference in how we feel. I read an article on how thankfulness helps people deal with adversity and is linked to greater happiness. 

I've decided to take time each day to write down 3 things I am grateful for.

WORRY LESS, LAUGH MORE

It's easier said than done, but I will try not to focus so much on the negative thoughts by finding other things to occupy my time. Ideally, things that make me laugh!

I plan to spend more time watching funny TV shows or movies, talking with my BBF on the phone more often (we crack ourselves and each other up!), and just laughing more often!

PAY IT FORWARD

I remember how terrified I was when I first received my cancer diagnosis in October of 2016. I know there is someone out there who has just received a cancer diagnosis of their own who is experiencing those same feelings.

It's not always possible for me to meet with people in person, but being available to talk on the phone, sharing tips, and even sharing my knowledge via this blog might be helpful in some way.

My goal is to do something at least once a week that is helpful to someone facing their own diagnosis.  

LIVE LIFE

It has been a challenging few years, and there have been many things I missed out on that I would have liked to do because of my lowered immune system, COVID-19, and the pandemic.

I'm sad I've missed so much, but I intend to make up for it! I still have to be very careful and wear a mask when I'm out around others, but I plan to live life to the fullest and enjoy and treasure every moment I have with the people I love!

NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS FOR CANCER PATIENTS AND SURVIVORS

The new year signifies a fresh start, offering new possibilities and hope for the year ahead.

Making resolutions and setting goals is a great way to focus on our personal growth and well-being for the coming year. 

The typical New Year's resolutions often involve changing our bodies, mindsets, and diets. I don't remember ever starting a New Year without putting losing weight at the top of my resolutions list! 

Resolutions for cancer patients and survivors are a little different. They tend to revolve around things that will make survivorship easier, making it very important to see them through. 

Constant fatigue can be an ongoing struggle, whether it's due to being in active treatment, the body reacting to what is happening during the recovery process, or drugs meant to keep cancer from returning. It can be more challenging to stay motivated and stick with resolutions in the face of reduced stamina and endurance. 

And yet, I want to continue with the tradition for the New Year!

RESOLUTIONS OR GOALS?

But do I make resolutions or set goals? The two go hand in hand, but they really aren't the same thing, are they?

While waiting for my first cup of coffee to kick in, I contemplated the difference between making resolutions and setting goals.

I'm not very alert in the mornings until I've had at least one cup of coffee. Lately, the second cup does not guarantee any degree of alertness or coherency due to my constant lack of sleep. However, here is what my sleep-deprived, under-caffeinated brain came up with on the subject......

A resolution is a pledge we make to ourselves. A type of commitment without a detailed plan that is usually open-ended.

A goal has a clearly defined endpoint. We can set short and long-term goals for ourselves and give them deadlines. Goals are the building blocks of our resolutions.

RESOLUTIONS.

As a cancer patient/survivor, I felt it essential to come up with resolutions that encompass my total well-being, physical, mental, and spiritual. 

I only made 2 resolutions. Both are huge, but the second one is probably the most powerful resolution I could make. 

Resolution #1

To focus on strengthening my physical and mental health. 

Just as physical strength is a component of physical fitness, mental strength is a part of mental fitness, and I really need to work on both.

Resolution #2

To continue to move forward with hope, faith, humor, and optimism. 

This second resolution is more geared toward my mental health and happiness. A commitment to worrying less, laughing more often, and spending more time in prayer. 

Goal Setting

As I started writing this post, I didn't have a concrete plan in mind, except for the topic of resolutions and goals. Now, after discussing my resolutions, I need to take some time to establish specific goals that will assist me in achieving those resolutions in the coming days! I'll be back soon to share those with you!

In the meantime, please share any resolutions or goals you may have for the coming year! If you are currently dealing with a cancer diagnosis of your own, how have your resolutions and goals changed from previous years?

Happy New Year!

 

HAPPY NEW YEAR

Happy New Year, Y'all! 

I hope you had a wonderful New Year's Eve and that it left you hopeful for the coming year!

I spent a quiet evening at home with my husband and crazy pup, Brady! 

We had lasagna for dinner, followed by some eggnog with a bit of Scotch Whiskey I got for Christmas. I don't usually drink whiskey, but being a huge Rod Stewart fan from way back, I decided to try Rod's new Wolfie's Whiskey!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        

                                                                                                       This stuff was darn good in eggnog!

We had bought some champagne for our midnight toast, but we enjoyed the whisky and eggnog so much that we decided not to open the champagne and just make our toast with that instead!

New Year's Eve has evolved significantly over time. In the past, we used to party all night long, dancing and drinking. Occasionally, we would head to downtown Atlanta to witness the Peach Drop. 

There was also a year when we lived in Minnesota, and my friend and I ran a 5k race around a frozen lake in -27-degree windchills!

For years, we played board games with the kids and watched Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve Show on TV while waiting for the countdown to midnight to watch the ball drop in NYC.

Over the past few years, we have spent relatively quiet evenings at home, but they are still nice. 

Have I mentioned how thankful I am to be here for yet another New Year???

That's it for now, but I plan to share my goals for the coming year in my next post. 

CANCER AND HOLIDAY CHEER

The holiday season can be such a happy time of the year. However, for someone dealing with cancer, whether newly diagnosed, in treatment, a long-term survivor, or living with metastatic breast cancer, the holiday season can bring up a whole range of emotions.

This has always been the season for me to focus on reflection, goal setting, and planning for the future. I'm sad to say that has changed some since my diagnosis, and I tend to spend more time wondering and worrying about the future than I do making plans.

LET'S BE HONEST, CANCER SUCKS

As thankful as I am to be alive and thriving and to be able to spend time with my loved ones, even if primarily through phone calls or video chats, I still struggle at times with contrasting emotions. I can go from joyful and happy to sad and anxious in a heartbeat. 

I remind myself that it's okay when those not-so-cheerful feelings creep in. All our emotions are valid, and it's okay to acknowledge them, whether happy or sad.

It's okay to express these feelings to our family and friends. Cancer sucks, and it is sometimes cathartic to acknowledge that! 

NOT EVERY DAY IS A HAPPY HOLIDAY

As much as the holidays are known as a time to be happy, joyful, and festive....remember that even perfectly healthy people sometimes struggle to be "in the holiday spirit" during this time of year.

When dealing with a cancer diagnosis, it's perfectly normal to experience feelings of sadness, anger, and frustration over how cancer has changed our lives and even the way it has affected how we spend our holidays.

Cancer treatments and meds can cause us to have severely lowered immune systems, making parties and large family gatherings unsafe for us, especially now during cold and flu season and with COVID numbers up.

DON'T SUFFER IN SILENCE

If those sad and anxious thoughts and feelings take up too much space in your head, share the burden with family, friends, or a health professional. 

And please be patient, compassionate, and gentle with yourself. I'll bet even Santa isn't jolly ALL the time!

THANKFUL, GRATEFUL, and BLESSED

November is National Gratitude Month, and we are all encouraged to embrace the power of gratitude. I have so much to be grateful for, but family is at the top of that list.

Earlier this month, our son Nick and his fiancée Alison drove down from Boston to visit us in Dahlonega, GA, where we rented a cabin for the week. We had such a great time!

And just last week, our daughter Alex was able to join us for Thanksgiving all the way from Sioux Falls, SD! 

After three long years, we were overjoyed to finally see our daughter again. In 2020, she left for Flagstaff, AZ, and moved to Sioux Falls this past year. Although we kept in touch through phone calls and video chats, we were unable to physically hug each other. I can't express how much it meant to hug my daughter again. Her dad and I missed her so much!

Her brother, Conor, and our pup, Brady, have also missed her!

We didn't take nearly enough photos but were too busy enjoying each other's company. We spent our time talking, laughing, eating, playing board games, taking walks, watching some of our favorite TV shows together, and making a late evening visit to the ER for my UTI (which is a story for another post!). We also had a great time hanging out with Brady, who was overjoyed to receive so much love and attention from Alex and, for a time, Conor.

Our time together flew by too quickly, but we'll all be reunited in Boston for Nick and Alison's wedding in April!

SAYING GOODBYE AT THE AIRPORT WAS TOUGH.

I am indeed so very thankful, incredibly grateful, and unbelievably blessed!

CELEBRATING FAMILY

Our week-long stay in a charming mountaintop cabin in Dahlonega, GA, was an unforgettable celebration of life, love, and family.

Ray and I arrived at the cabin on Friday afternoon and were thrilled to see that it looked just as amazing as it had in the pictures!.

Our son Nick and his beautiful fiancée Alison arrived at the cabin on Saturday evening, and we were thrilled to see them! They had driven down from Boston, spent a couple of days visiting Alison's brother and his family in North Carolina, and then headed to Georgia to visit us.

Spending time with the newly engaged couple and celebrating their engagement was an absolute pleasure. We are eagerly looking forward to welcoming Alison as an official member of our family! We love her and are thrilled that she and our son have found each other.

Look at that gorgeous couple! And that ring!

Having Conor with us for a few days at the cabin was great. Conor lives, works, and attends college near Dahlonega, but we don't get to see him as much as we would like due to his busy schedule.

My cutie-Conor! He's just so grown up now!

We were so happy that our son Robert and his beautiful wife Jennifer could join us on Sunday! As Robert frequently travels for work, we weren't sure if they would be able to make it, but we were thrilled that they did! We had a fantastic time together, laughing, hugging, and indulging in delicious Mexican cuisine.

Jen, Robert, Nick, Alison, Pam, Ray, Conor

Alison, Jen, Pam

The happy couple!

Nacho, Nacho Man!

We laughed so much while playing Scattergories! We may have drank a bit also! LOL

Our adorable visitor!

We had a wonderful time with Nick and Alison, and it was hard to say goodbye to them when they left on Wednesday. They went to visit one of Alison's friends and her family in Atlanta before heading back to New England on Friday.

Sadly, we have not been able to see our family nearly often enough over the past few years due to Covid and my compromised immune system, and it was such a blessing to spend time with Nick, Alison, Conor, Robert, and Jen!

OUR NEXT FAMILY ADVENTURE

We are so excited that we will get to spend five days with our daughter Alex next week! I can't wait to give her a big hug! Although we wish she could have joined us in Dahlonega, we are thrilled to be able to celebrate Thanksgiving with her next week! Photos to come!!

October-Breast Cancer Awareness and Diagnosis

On October 3, 2016, the weather was beautiful and sunny. It was also the day I had an appointment with Dr. Quill, a breast surgeon, to receive the results of the biopsy that had been done a week earlier.

I was absolutely terrified. When Dr. Quill walked into the room, he didn't hesitate. He looked at me and said, "Well, you have tested positive for breast cancer." In my heart, I already knew what the biopsy results would reveal.

Before the biopsy, I had a diagnostic mammogram followed by an ultrasound. After the mammogram, the kind technician walked me to a waiting area for a doctor to examine the pictures. She started to walk away but then turned back, gave me a hug, and said, "It's gonna be okay." At that moment, I knew. But I was so thankful for that hug.

So, when Dr. Quill said those words to me, they were just confirmation. He sat down on a stool beside me and asked, "Are you ready to fight?" Oh, hell yeah, I was! He said that he and the rest of my team of doctors would use every weapon available to fight this thing. 

I can't really remember much from the few hours after that visit with Dr. Quill, but I do remember walking around my backyard later in the evening and having a chat with God. Begging might be a better way to describe what was happening. 

I remember feeling heartbroken about having to tell my kids. Conor was a high school junior, and his homecoming dance was that weekend. I distinctly remember insisting on waiting until after homecoming to tell him.

The rest of my kids were scattered about the country, so it wasn't like I could sit them all down and tell them this news. 

I somehow managed to break the news to my kids, other family members, and, finally, my friends. It was incredibly tough.

Today is October 21, 2023. Exactly seven years ago today, I had my first chemo treatment. It was the initial punch in that battle. This isn't necessarily something I want to celebrate, but I am celebrating the fact that seven years later, I am still here. I am still fighting, but I am still here and feeling pretty darn good most of the time!