BREAST CANCER-FAITH OVER FEAR

I recently received a heartfelt message from a dear old friend who has just been diagnosed with breast cancer. She reached out seeking advice on coping with the stress that comes with the diagnosis.

Understanding my friend's fear and anxiety, I called her right away. We talked a lot about her diagnosis and how she was feeling about starting chemo. I shared some tips based on my own experiences with chemo.

Even though she first got in touch to talk about dealing with the stress from her diagnosis, we didn't actually get into that much during our conversation. But we agreed to talk again soon, and I'm sure we'll focus on that more then.

In the meantime, I felt compelled to write a blog post on the subject.

In October 2016, I was diagnosed with-

Grade 3
Stage 111C
Estrogen-Positive
HER 2-Negative-

Invasive Ductal-Carcinoma

I received chemo first, then a mastectomy, followed by radiation treatments. 

I'm not going to lie; it was tough at times, especially chemo. 

Oddly enough, the mastectomy wasn't as bad as I had expected. 

Radiation wasn't too bad, other than some burns and blisters I experienced at one point. Postponing treatments for a week and using some cream the doctor gave me took care of those pretty quickly.

               

THAT SECOND PINK RODEO

In November 2020, after a scan revealed a spot on a lymph node that hadn't been seen before, I was sent for a biopsy. The biopsy came back positive for cancer. When my doctor said that with this recurrence, my cancer was no longer curable, I was hit with a flood of questions. What did that mean? Was it metastatic breast cancer? Stage 4? Was it terminal?

After the initial shock, I found the courage to ask the questions that were on my mind. I was reassured to learn that while there's still no cure for metastatic breast cancer, it's now highly treatable. Thanks to advances in treatments, it's no longer the dire diagnosis it once was. Instead, it's viewed as a chronic condition, and people are living longer, with a better quality of life. 

After leaving the doctor's office, a nurse gave me a card for a "Cancer Training Class?!" I mumbled under my breath, "Thanks, but this ain't my first pink rodeo." I'm not sure if she heard my comment or if she read the look on my face, but she then explained that with a recurrence, the treatments can be different, and the stress level might increase. That's why they offer the class to patients who have received a cancer diagnosis, whether it's your first time or not.

On a side note, the phrase "This Ain't My First Pink Rodeo" kept coming to mind over the next few weeks. Eventually, I decided to use it as the name for this blog.

DEALING WITH THE STRESS THAT COMES WITH THE DIAGNOSIS

BLOGGING HELPS

I've found that sharing my experience with breast cancer through writing really helps me sort through my thoughts and feelings. I never thought of myself as a writer, but I hope that blogging isn't just therapeutic for me but also helpful for others dealing with similar challenges.

FAITH

I have tried different methods to manage stress over the past few years. Some have been helpful, while others not so much. However, when it comes to dealing with the stress of my diagnosis, I cannot emphasize enough how much my faith has helped me through this journey.

I understand that not everyone reading this shares my beliefs, and I respect that. I've never been the type of person to push my faith on others. However, the person who asked me to share my story shares my Christian faith, so I feel compelled to discuss how much my faith means to me and how it's been such a source of comfort during tough times.

FAITH OVER FEAR

In 2016, when I first received my diagnosis, I was overwhelmed by fear. When I expressed some of those fears to a friend, she quickly replied that I should not allow my fear to be bigger than my faith. 

We've all encountered the saying "Faith Over Fear" on social media, on T-shirts, devotionals, and other such items. So, it seems pretty simple, right?

Many people seem to have faith easily in every situation, but for me, it hasn't been that simple. I often wake up feeling fearful and doubtful, with no sense of choice. My heart is anxious from the moment I open my eyes. 

Yes, I'm human, and I sometimes let fear take over without consciously deciding to. But I'm working on choosing faith instead of fear and anxiety. It's not always easy, but over time, it has definitely gotten easier for me.

I believe it's important to plan for the future and set goals but not to spend too much energy worrying about it. 

HOW TO LET FAITH BE BIGGER THAN FEAR

For me, having faith and letting that faith be bigger than my fear means trusting in God and not letting fear control my life. But does this mean I shouldn't listen to medical professionals?

Absolutely not! I am firm in my belief that God created us as intelligent beings and bestowed upon us the ability to develop medicines to help heal our bodies. Doctors are a gift from God, playing a critical role in bringing about healing and recovery.

I've had some intense discussions with people about issues like COVID-19 vaccines and my cancer treatments. It's frustrating when someone insists that trusting medical professionals and scientists means I don't trust in God. Seriously? In my view, God has given us intelligence and common sense, and He expects us to use them, especially when it comes to our health.

I trust my team of doctors and nurses completely and faithfully follow their treatment plans. However, when it comes to making tough life decisions, I turn to God for guidance because my ultimate faith lies in Him.

I really believe it's crucial to have a solid plan for medical treatment when fighting cancer. But for me, having a spiritual treatment plan is just as important. It really helps me stay hopeful and strong and keeps my faith stronger than my fear.

MY SPIRITUAL CARE PLAN

• Praying
• Daily devotionals
• Journaling or blogging
• Reading Scripture
• Sharing my feelings with trusted loved ones, venting, crying

Remembering to focus on these things really helps to lower my anxiety level. 

• I advised my friend to check out some of my old blog posts on this topic and to feel free to reach out to me anytime she needs to chat, vent, scream, or pray!
• 
  
• PLEASE REMEMBER-
• If you have been diagnosed with cancer, it's important to remember that there is no right or wrong way to deal with it. Regardless of your beliefs, who or what you put your faith in, or where you are on your journey, be kind to yourself. Cancer is just a part of your life – don't let it become the most important part!
• 
  
• Blessings,
• Pam

NEUTROPENIA, LYMPHEDEMA, AND SHINGLES-OH, MY!

So, the trend continues with another somewhat whiny post. I'm sorry, but honesty is essential, right?

Well, I can honestly say I have had a rough few weeks. 

As I mentioned in my last post, I've been dealing with neutropenia and everything that goes along with that. 

When I saw my oncologist a week after that post, my numbers were up a little, but the doctor decided I should still only take one Verzenio pill a day instead of the full dose of 2 a day. 

Not taking the full dose makes me very nervous because the pills have been working well, and I hate to rock THAT boat.

LYMPHEDEMA 

As I've said before, lymphedema is "not just a little swelling." It affects us physically, practically, and emotionally. 

Sometimes, even though I am so thankful for the treatments that have kept me alive, I feel it's unfair to have to deal with these side effects from those treatments. 

Oddly enough, I think I get more distraught over the lymphedema than I do with the fact that I lost a breast?! 

Buying a new dress or top can be an ordeal. I either have to find something with balloon-type sleeves or purchase something too big for the rest of my body to accommodate the affected arm. 

I have mentioned how happy I am that my son will marry his beautiful fiancee next month. However, finding an attractive, appropriate dress that would camouflage my Popeye arm was challenging! It didn't help that most of my searching had to be done online because it is so risky being in crowds in the malls and in other stores, with me being so immunocompromised. 

However, I am happy to announce that I have found a dress for the wedding, complete with big, beautiful,  puffy sleeves that make the big arm less noticeable! Now for the shoes, purse, undergarments, etc. I am beyond excited for April 13th!!

I will post pictures after the wedding!

BUTT NOW.....SHINGLES???

Nope, I didn't misspell but! I have been dealing with a shingles outbreak for about a week and a half. And, of all places, the rash/blisters started on my left buttock.

The doctor said I should do everything possible to prevent the blisters from bursting. He also said this is not a good place to have shingles. Really? Is it NOT?

I was started on an anti-viral medication immediately and have since been given a prescription for Gabapentin to take at bedtime for the severe nerve pain I am experiencing. I was also prescribed Tramadol to use for the next week or so as needed.

The rash has now spread all down my leg, but I can see no new blisters. Hopefully, this will end soon.

If you are eligible for a shingles vaccine but have been putting off getting one, I strongly urge you to immediately get the first of the two shots! 

I will see my Oncologist on Tuesday for my regular monthly visit for labs, doctor's visit, and, hopefully, my Faslodex injections (part of my cancer treatment.) I am praying the shingles will be much better and my ANC and WBC are both improved at that time.

I sincerely hope I have nothing to whine about when I write my next post!

Y'all take care! 

CANCER AND NEUTROPENIA

While I would like all of my posts to be upbeat, positive, and motivating...I need to keep it real, folks. And the reality is...CANCER SUCKS. 

I am so thankful for the advancements in cancer treatments that increase survival rates and even offer hope for a cure for more people, but these drugs can come with some nasty side effects for many of us. Neutropenia is one of those side effects.

WHAT IS NEUTROPENIA?

Neutropenia is a medical condition where the level of white blood cells (neutrophils) in our body becomes abnormally low. Neutrophils play a crucial role in protecting our body from infection; without them, our immune system can't function properly. As a result, when we are neutropenic, we become more vulnerable to frequent infections, and some of these infections could be life-threatening.

Neutropenia is most often diagnosed by a routine complete blood count (CBC), which most cancer patients have regularly. I quickly became familiar with my WBC and ANC numbers when I was going through chemo treatments. I have had a CBC done at least once a month since 2016.

ABSOLUTE NEUTROPHIL COUNT (ANC)

Neutropenia can be triggered by:

• chemotherapy
• radiation
• the use of certain drugs

WHY DOES CANCER TREATMENT CAUSE NEUTROPENIA?

Cancer treatments such as chemo or radiation destroy cancer cells. They may also destroy healthy neutrophils and the bone marrow that makes them. Neutropenia is a very common side effect of chemo, but it can also be caused by other cancer drugs. 

When I had a recurrence of breast cancer in 2020, I was put on Ibrance. I did great for a while, but my WBC and ANC eventually dropped lower and lower. Finally, the doctor switched me to Verzenio, which has been shown to have great results without lowering the ANC as much as the previous drug.

My numbers were steady for a while. Consistently low but within an acceptable range. And thankfully, the Verzenio has been doing its job! However, my numbers started dropping recently, causing my doctors to keep me off of Verzenio for a week. We have now cut the dosage back to one pill daily instead of the usual 2, hoping the numbers will return closer to normal.

Even though I've had to follow at least some neutropenic precaution guidelines for a long time, right now, I have to be even more strict. My numbers are the lowest they've been in a long time, and due to the number of cases of flu, RSV, and COVID-19 in our area, I've been advised to just hunker down at home for now.

AND....this sucks on so many levels! I missed celebrating my 70th BD on February 4th and my sweet boy's 23 BD on February 5th. Also, my son, Nick, is marrying the woman of his dreams in less than 2 months, and I need to be out shopping for my dress, shoes, jewelry, and other assorted items!

My doctor put me on a strong antibiotic last week when I saw him after getting my labs done because a tiny scrape on my finger looked like it was getting infected. Left untreated, even something that minor could send me to the hospital. UGHHH.

Some of the recommended neutropenic precautions-

• Wash hands with soap and water frequently, especially before eating, after using the bathroom, and after touching doorknobs.
• Don't share utensils, cups, food, or drinks with others.
• Don't walk barefoot.
• Keep skin moisturized.
• Avoid crowds.
• Always wear a mask to prevent exposure to airborne germs.
• Stay up to date on vaccines.
• Wash all fruits and vegetables thoroughly and soak in vinegar before eating.
• Prepare foods in a clean kitchen and cook foods to a proper temperature. 
• Avoid picking up pet waste or changing diapers. Use gloves and wash your hands afterward if you can't avoid these things.
• Wear gloves when gardening or working in the yard.
• Contact your doctor for any fever at all.

As I said, these are just some of the precautions that must be taken when neutropenia rears its ugly head. 

I'm trying to take this latest drop in numbers in stride, but it's tough. I want to spend every minute I possibly can with my family and friends, but it's difficult to do when so immunocompromised. 

I go back to my oncologist next week for my regular monthly visit and for lab work. I'm praying for some good lab results!

GOALS

 Hey, Y'all!

I hope the new year is treating you well so far! 

In my previous post, I shared my New Year's resolutions. There are only 2, but they are pretty powerful and require some solid goals to accomplish them.

My Resolutions-

To- Focus on strengthening my physical and mental health. 

To- Move forward with hope, faith, humor, and optimism. 

I decided to keep things simple and not set unrealistic goals for myself. 

Goals-

MOVE EVERY DAY

Physical activity is strongly linked to better mental health. Even a moderate amount of exercise can ward off anxiety and depression, help improve sleep, and lead to improved quality of life. 

By exercise, I don't mean a hardcore, grueling workout. While I want to focus more on walking on the treadmill and some upper body exercises to help with my lymphedema, many other forms of movement could be physically and mentally beneficial.

Committing to 15 minutes of some type of exercise every day should be an achievable goal.

EMBRACE MINDFULNESS AND MENTAL WELLBEING

Most of us know that cancer can have a significant impact on our physical health, but we tend to overlook the mental and emotional strain that comes with it. 

Mindfulness practices, such as deep breathing exercises, meditation, or yoga, can help manage some of the stress we are dealing with and contribute to a healthier mental outlook.

I've always had trouble focusing when meditating or doing breathing exercises. I've also never been good at yoga, but I've found an easy beginner's video geared toward those with upper body lymphedema that I will try. 

I'm aiming for 3 days a week of yoga, which will help with meditation and breathing.

NOURISH MY FAITH AND SPIRITUAL GROWTH

Just as a tree needs sunlight, good soil, and water to grow, our faith also needs daily nourishment. 

Spiritual growth involves nourishing the soul through meditation and self-reflection. However, prayer and studying God's word are essential for growing my faith as a Christian. 

I plan to start my morning with at least 15 minutes of prayer and bible study. I'm also hoping to find an online bible study group to join. 

FOLLOW A NUTRITIOUS DIET PLAN

While trying to follow the Intermittent Eating plan, I also want to focus more on quality, nutritious meals.

I aim to put together a menu each Sunday of nutritious meals for the week. 

CULTIVATE AN ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE

A grateful attitude can make such a difference in how we feel. I read an article on how thankfulness helps people deal with adversity and is linked to greater happiness. 

I've decided to take time each day to write down 3 things I am grateful for.

WORRY LESS, LAUGH MORE

It's easier said than done, but I will try not to focus so much on the negative thoughts by finding other things to occupy my time. Ideally, things that make me laugh!

I plan to spend more time watching funny TV shows or movies, talking with my BBF on the phone more often (we crack ourselves and each other up!), and just laughing more often!

PAY IT FORWARD

I remember how terrified I was when I first received my cancer diagnosis in October of 2016. I know there is someone out there who has just received a cancer diagnosis of their own who is experiencing those same feelings.

It's not always possible for me to meet with people in person, but being available to talk on the phone, sharing tips, and even sharing my knowledge via this blog might be helpful in some way.

My goal is to do something at least once a week that is helpful to someone facing their own diagnosis.  

LIVE LIFE

It has been a challenging few years, and there have been many things I missed out on that I would have liked to do because of my lowered immune system, COVID-19, and the pandemic.

I'm sad I've missed so much, but I intend to make up for it! I still have to be very careful and wear a mask when I'm out around others, but I plan to live life to the fullest and enjoy and treasure every moment I have with the people I love!

NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS FOR CANCER PATIENTS AND SURVIVORS

The new year signifies a fresh start, offering new possibilities and hope for the year ahead.

Making resolutions and setting goals is a great way to focus on our personal growth and well-being for the coming year. 

The typical New Year's resolutions often involve changing our bodies, mindsets, and diets. I don't remember ever starting a New Year without putting losing weight at the top of my resolutions list! 

Resolutions for cancer patients and survivors are a little different. They tend to revolve around things that will make survivorship easier, making it very important to see them through. 

Constant fatigue can be an ongoing struggle, whether it's due to being in active treatment, the body reacting to what is happening during the recovery process, or drugs meant to keep cancer from returning. It can be more challenging to stay motivated and stick with resolutions in the face of reduced stamina and endurance. 

And yet, I want to continue with the tradition for the New Year!

RESOLUTIONS OR GOALS?

But do I make resolutions or set goals? The two go hand in hand, but they really aren't the same thing, are they?

While waiting for my first cup of coffee to kick in, I contemplated the difference between making resolutions and setting goals.

I'm not very alert in the mornings until I've had at least one cup of coffee. Lately, the second cup does not guarantee any degree of alertness or coherency due to my constant lack of sleep. However, here is what my sleep-deprived, under-caffeinated brain came up with on the subject......

A resolution is a pledge we make to ourselves. A type of commitment without a detailed plan that is usually open-ended.

A goal has a clearly defined endpoint. We can set short and long-term goals for ourselves and give them deadlines. Goals are the building blocks of our resolutions.

RESOLUTIONS.

As a cancer patient/survivor, I felt it essential to come up with resolutions that encompass my total well-being, physical, mental, and spiritual. 

I only made 2 resolutions. Both are huge, but the second one is probably the most powerful resolution I could make. 

Resolution #1

To focus on strengthening my physical and mental health. 

Just as physical strength is a component of physical fitness, mental strength is a part of mental fitness, and I really need to work on both.

Resolution #2

To continue to move forward with hope, faith, humor, and optimism. 

This second resolution is more geared toward my mental health and happiness. A commitment to worrying less, laughing more often, and spending more time in prayer. 

Goal Setting

As I started writing this post, I didn't have a concrete plan in mind, except for the topic of resolutions and goals. Now, after discussing my resolutions, I need to take some time to establish specific goals that will assist me in achieving those resolutions in the coming days! I'll be back soon to share those with you!

In the meantime, please share any resolutions or goals you may have for the coming year! If you are currently dealing with a cancer diagnosis of your own, how have your resolutions and goals changed from previous years?

Happy New Year!

 

HAPPY NEW YEAR

Happy New Year, Y'all! 

I hope you had a wonderful New Year's Eve and that it left you hopeful for the coming year!

I spent a quiet evening at home with my husband and crazy pup, Brady! 

We had lasagna for dinner, followed by some eggnog with a bit of Scotch Whiskey I got for Christmas. I don't usually drink whiskey, but being a huge Rod Stewart fan from way back, I decided to try Rod's new Wolfie's Whiskey!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        

                                                                                                       This stuff was darn good in eggnog!

We had bought some champagne for our midnight toast, but we enjoyed the whisky and eggnog so much that we decided not to open the champagne and just make our toast with that instead!

New Year's Eve has evolved significantly over time. In the past, we used to party all night long, dancing and drinking. Occasionally, we would head to downtown Atlanta to witness the Peach Drop. 

There was also a year when we lived in Minnesota, and my friend and I ran a 5k race around a frozen lake in -27-degree windchills!

For years, we played board games with the kids and watched Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve Show on TV while waiting for the countdown to midnight to watch the ball drop in NYC.

Over the past few years, we have spent relatively quiet evenings at home, but they are still nice. 

Have I mentioned how thankful I am to be here for yet another New Year???

That's it for now, but I plan to share my goals for the coming year in my next post. 

CANCER AND HOLIDAY CHEER

The holiday season can be such a happy time of the year. However, for someone dealing with cancer, whether newly diagnosed, in treatment, a long-term survivor, or living with metastatic breast cancer, the holiday season can bring up a whole range of emotions.

This has always been the season for me to focus on reflection, goal setting, and planning for the future. I'm sad to say that has changed some since my diagnosis, and I tend to spend more time wondering and worrying about the future than I do making plans.

LET'S BE HONEST, CANCER SUCKS

As thankful as I am to be alive and thriving and to be able to spend time with my loved ones, even if primarily through phone calls or video chats, I still struggle at times with contrasting emotions. I can go from joyful and happy to sad and anxious in a heartbeat. 

I remind myself that it's okay when those not-so-cheerful feelings creep in. All our emotions are valid, and it's okay to acknowledge them, whether happy or sad.

It's okay to express these feelings to our family and friends. Cancer sucks, and it is sometimes cathartic to acknowledge that! 

NOT EVERY DAY IS A HAPPY HOLIDAY

As much as the holidays are known as a time to be happy, joyful, and festive....remember that even perfectly healthy people sometimes struggle to be "in the holiday spirit" during this time of year.

When dealing with a cancer diagnosis, it's perfectly normal to experience feelings of sadness, anger, and frustration over how cancer has changed our lives and even the way it has affected how we spend our holidays.

Cancer treatments and meds can cause us to have severely lowered immune systems, making parties and large family gatherings unsafe for us, especially now during cold and flu season and with COVID numbers up.

DON'T SUFFER IN SILENCE

If those sad and anxious thoughts and feelings take up too much space in your head, share the burden with family, friends, or a health professional. 

And please be patient, compassionate, and gentle with yourself. I'll bet even Santa isn't jolly ALL the time!